So I just did a cleanse. I completed it pretty successfully which is a big deal for me because I really love food. My favorite food in the world is french fries. And I also really love ice cream. Neither of those things is particularly good for you and I have been eating entirely too much of both in the recent months so I decided it was time to clean out my system a little bit. Plus I'm going to the Yankees game tomorrow and I know french fries will be consumed and I just wanted to shrink my stomach a little so I didn't eat all of the garlic fries, ya dig?
I didn't do one of the crazy cleanses. Like the master cleanse with the lemon and cayenne pepper crap. Thats basically borderline anorexia. By like…day four you are just pooping out liquid. Its repulsive. I also knew I wouldn't be able to handle a juice cleanse because I love eating. I love the process of grocery shopping and picking out food and cooking it the way I want to cook it. And then eating it obviously. Thats the most satisfying part. So I did a cleanse that I knew I would maybe be able to handle. There also isn't much gluten in the cleanse and I have been thinking about attempting to lessen my intake of gluten. I eat a lot of white flour and I know that it's really bad for me. So here is the cleanse I did:
So it's not so bad. Its all actual food. So here is my meal plan and my full review of everything I ate and how it made me feel.
Day One: Fruits
Breakfast: Strawberries, blackberries, and grapes.
Lunch: Strawberries, blackberries, grapes, and a slice of cantaloupe
Snack: Strawberries, blackberries, and grapes
Dinner: Avocado and watermelon
The day stared off fine. I usually eat fruits in the mornings so I wasn't straying too far from my routine. It was also a Saturday so it was a lazy day where I didn't need a ton of energy. I had to babysit that night so I brought some fruit and stuff with me. My real dinner didn't happen til like 11. Anyway, by the evening I had a pretty severe headache. The lack of protein in my day was really killing me. And it was pretty impossible to feel full. I know avocado is a super food and you aren't really supposed to eat that kind of stuff on this cleanse especially because it's fatty. But I needed the nutrients. Depriving your body of essential nutrients is just a bad idea. Feeling light-headed and woozy really sucks. I also got back to my apartment around 11 and there was a party going on and I couldn't drink because its not part of the cleanse. Also alcohol is just bad for you. It was kind of a rough day. Went to sleep hungry and with a headache.
Day Two: Veggies and a Baked Potato with Butter
Breakfast: Red and yellow peppers
Lunch: Red peppers, carrots, and broccoli
Dinner: Sautéed spinach, baked potato with butter
Headache. All day long. I felt weak and lightheaded. But I felt a little more full than I did on day one. I When it came time for dinner, I ate the entire potato, skin and all. I felt way better after that. I still went to bed super hungry. And early because I felt so weak. Like, I got into bed at 9:30. Around ten I started to seriously crave chocolate. I currently have a huge bag of Easter chocolate in my freezer and it took every ounce of willpower I have not to go and eat some. The struggle is real, folks.
Day Three: Fruits and Veggies (no potato)
Breakfast: Mango, watermelon, grapes, blackberries, and strawberries
Lunch: Spinach, carrots, peppers, broccoli, and tomato (and a teeny bit of salad vinegar because salad without dressing is the worst)
Snack: Grapes, strawberries, cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple
Dinner: Sautéed spinach, roasted broccoli, garlic
Headache all day. Also terrible story. I packed up fruits and veggies for myself because on Mondays I am at school from 9:45 am until 8:15 pm so I needed food obviously. There were little bugs in the broccoli which I didn't realize and I washed it and everything but the bugs got all over all of my food so that sucks. I know it's a little bit of a first world problem but I didn't want to eat that food anymore. So I went to food emporium and made a salad for myself and bought a fruit cup. I put a little salad vinegar on the salad even though I know it's cheating. Whatever. It happens. It was still a pretty healthy day.
Day Four: Milk and Bananas
Breakfast: Milk and banana
Lunch: Milk and banana
Snack: Milk and banana
Dinner: Milk and banana
OK so I'm pretty sure I've built up an intolerance to lactose. Like straight lactose. I can have a couple scoops of ice cream. But not four large glasses of milk. I felt full for the first time this week but I also felt sick to my stomach. I was hot and nauseated and it was the worst. My headache was almost gone so I guess thats a consolation. But this day killed me. Gross. And the milk was skim too. Imagine if it had been whole milk. Ughhhh.
Day Five: Poultry and Tomatoes
Breakfast: Turkey lunch meat and a tomato
Lunch: Chicken breast and tomato
Snack: Chicken breast and tomato
Dinner: Chicken breast and tomato
Dessert: Tomato
Never have I ever been so happy to eat lunch meat. I woke up early and cooked 6 pieces of thinly sliced chicken breast for days 5 and 6. I only bought five tomatoes so I sliced up one and rolled up a few slices of turkey for breakfast. Then I cut up three tomatoes and two chicken breasts and put them in a tupperwear container for school. You are supposed to drink a glass of water for every tomato and I think I successfully consumed like 3 liters of water throughout the day so that's nice. Today I felt thinner for the first time since starting the cleanse. Or at least I did until I put my pants on. Oh and I went to bed hungry still.
Day Six: Poultry and Veggies
Breakfast: guacamole and turkey lunch meat
Lunch: Guacamole and chicken mixture thing
Dinner: Salad with no dressing and guacamole
Today was a good day. I woke up and made myself an awesome guacamole with avocado, tomato, onion, a little hot sauce, and a little worcestershire sauce. I took a scoop of it and ate it for breakfast along with turkey. Then I took my leftover chicken breasts and sliced them up and mixed them in with the rest of the guac, put it in a tupperwear container, and went on my way. Literally best food ever. My favorite part of the day was going to Chop't and getting a salad with no dressing, lettuce, corn, peppers, red onion, and maybe some other veggie and then dumping the salad into the tupperwear and mixing it in with the guac/chicken mixture. The guac acted as a dressing and it was just a big bowl of something pretty healthy. I was super happy about it. It was a good and filling day. I did not go to bed hungry and did not crave anything.
Day Seven: Miracle Soup
Recipe
2-3 large onions, chopped
1 head of cabbage, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
5-6 celery stalks, chopped
2 lg cans of diced tomatoes
2 pkgs lipton beefy onion soup mix
Put the veggies in a pan or pot and pour in tomatoes. Put 4-6 cups of water over all of that til veggies are just covered. Cover and cook for ten minutes. Add soup mix. Stir and then cook til veggies are soft.
This day was rough. And I cheated on this day. But not in a bad way. Soup just doesn't travel well. Also this recipe yields enough soup to feed a family of four for a week. So Maybe cut it in half. I had a bowl for breakfast and a bowl for lunch but then I had to go to school because my a cappella group, Hawkappella, was participating in Hunter's Got Talent. So I went in for sound check and around 3 I was hungry but my soup was in Brooklyn. So I caved and went to chipotle because I love mexican food. I got a salad with lettuce, black beans, a little guac, salsa, and the corn stuff that they have. I figured if I didn't get the dressing I was still eating something pretty healthy. After I had that salad I was definitely full. Then after the performance I had a little pasta because it was free and then I had beer.
I think I did a good job on my cleanse. I didn't really cheat until the last day. I didn't eat sweets. I stuck to a pretty healthy regime. And I just felt better after. I have enough miracle soup to have it for two meals a day for the next week which is exactly what I am going to do because it is good for you and it cleans out your system. I had a little chocolate today and it made me feel sick, which is a good thing I think! So yeah. There is my cleanse. I recommend it for anyone who wants to try a cleanse. It wasn't very hard and it made me feel good. It made me feel like I was doing something right for my body. Also, remember that time I was supposed to run a 5k today? LOLOLOL didn't happen. Whatever.
Til next time!
Alice, like Wonderland
