Selfie Saturday!

Hey kids how y'all doing? I had an uneventful week. I mean I had some good times but mostly it was uneventful. So enjoy this Selfie Saturday of me doing mundane things!

The "it's 7 pm and I'm still hungover. Fuck." selfie!

The "pics or it didn't happen" gym selfie!

The "I put a little effort in today" selfie!

The "nanny gigs are a breeze" selfie!

The "practicing piano is fun when you're playing Frozen" selfie! And I'm in the piano reflection. I swear.

The "NYC resident but still a little touristy" selfie!

The "look mom, I have friends at school whom I eat salad with"selfie!

The "reflection on the hand-dryer in the bathroom of a movie theater after seeing divergent" selfie!

The "I haven't gone running since October and I think I'm dying post-run" selfie!

The "margs with friendz" selfie!

The "happy birthday Lena lets blow bubbles love you tons" selfie!

The "group shot" selfie!

The "rain in NYC really blows" selfie!

The "two year olds can make a mess soooooo fast" selfie!

The "my raincoat did not do it's job at all" selfie!

There you have it, folks. My super unadventurous week. Lol. I hate that I love selfies. Whatever.

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Adventures in Babysitting 1

So I've decided that on Fridays I am going to post a funny babysitting story. I have 15 families on my roster currently and the kids really do say the darndest things. I have a collection of tales that I think are hilarious. In order to protect the identity of the kids, I am going to use celebrity baby names instead of their real names. Note: I do not actually babysit for the children of celebrities. And even if I did, you wouldn't know because I wouldn't be using their names. But I don't. So there.

My first story is about Brooklyn Beckham. He was four when this happened and his younger brother, Bronx, was 2. Brooklyn was at that age where genitals are the most fascinating thing in the entire world. He talked about them all the time, wanted to really know what they were all about. So one day he was running around in the basement and stopped and looked at me. He said "Alice, what is your penis called?" Now, good for him that he knew that boys and girls had different sets of equipment. But I still didn't really want to answer the question. I stayed unfazed and said "I think thats a question you should ask mommy or daddy." Then an argument ensued.

"But mommy already told me! I just want you to tell me too!"
"Well, if mommy told you, you should know already and not have to ask me."
"But I just want to hear you say it!"
"Brooklyn. I understand that, but I don't think its a conversation we should be having."
"But Alice, please! I just forgot what its called a little."
"If you knew you would be able to tell me."

Then the big finish:

"I forgot it, but I know it's called a va-something!"

Kids are creative.

Til next time!
Alice, like Wonderland

Things I Would Rather Do Than Sit in Music History

As I sit and listen to the opening measures of Beethoven's 9th Symphony, I can't help but allow my mind to wander and think about all of the things I would much rather do.

-Eat
-Sleep
-Netflix
-Read
-Visit Russia
-Play Pokemon
-Visit a hoarder and clean their house
-Clean Chris Christies fat rolls
-Clean
-Step on legos
-Be forced to run 10 miles
-Be screamed at for an hour and 15 minutes
-Go shopping. I hate shopping.
-Only read 50 Shades of Gray and Twilight for the rest of my life
-Listen to nothing but radio disney for a year
-Sit through "Cats" four times in a row
-Get my eyebrow pierced
-Watch Teletubbies for 3 hours
-Watch fox news
-Watch the 700 club
-Revisit middle school for a day
-Go on vacation with my divorced parents
-Drink wheatgrass
-Eat seaweed chips. No one actually likes those. They're kidding themselves.
-Attend a Nickelback concert

But the one thing I would rather do than all of these things? Get a degree and graduate and finally be done with school so I can start my adult life. So I guess music history wins in the end. Bummer.

Til Next Time
Alice, like Wonderland

Workout Challenges

Hello Errbody! So I always try to do these workout challenge things and attempt to get into shape. Sometimes I do an ok job. But this time I have a blog, so maybe that will give me motivation to actually complete these. I'm going to start arms and squats today and crunches tomorrow. I'll start the 9 week 5k challenge on friday because it's going to be too cold until then. So I'm gonna go ahead and write down the things I am supposed to do here so that way I have something holding me accountable. Sort of. It makes sense in my brain.

Push-Ups/Planks/Chair Dips                Squat Challenge                       Crunch Challenge
1.        5/15s/5                                                   50                                                    rest
2.        8/20s/5                                                   55                                                     20
3.        5/15s/8                                                   60                                                     25
4.        10/30s/8                                                 rest                                                   30
5.        rest                                                         70                                                    rest
6.        10/30s/8                                                 75                                                     40
7.        8/45s/5                                                   80                                                     45
8.        15/30s/8                                                 rest                                                   50
9.        15/45s/10                                               100                                                  rest
10.      rest                                                         105                                                   60
11.      12/1m/10                                               110                                                    65
12.      8/30s/10                                                 rest                                                    70
13.     15/45s/8                                                  130                                                  rest
14.     15/30s/15                                                135                                                   80
15.     rest                                                          140                                                   90
16.      5/25s/5                                                   rest                                                   95
17.      8/30s/5                                                   150                                                  rest
18.      8/30s/8                                                   155                                                  100
19.     15/45s/10                                                160                                                  105
20.     rest                                                          rest                                                   110
21.     5/45s/5                                                   180                                                   rest
22.     10/25s/8                                                 185                                                   115
23.     10/30s/5                                                 190                                                   120
24.     15/1m/10                                               rest                                                    125
25.     rest                                                        220                                                     rest
26.    8/30s/8                                                   225                                                    130
27.    15/45s/12                                               230                                                    135
28.    15/45s/8                                                 rest                                                     140
29.    10/30s/8                                                 240                                                     rest
30.    20/90s/15                                               250                                                    150

RUNNING SCHEDULE
              Friday       Saturday   Sunday       Monday    Tuesday     Wednesday   Thursday
Week 1 5w/2r/5w   rest              5w/2r/5w     rest             5w/3r/5w    rest                  rest

Week 2 5w/3r/5w    rest             5w/4r/5w     rest             5w/5r/5w     rest                 rest

Week 3 5w/6r/5w   rest              4r/5w/4r/5w rest             5w/7r/5w     rest                 rest

Week 4 5w/7r/5w    rest             5w/8r/5w      rest             5w/9r/5w     rest                rest

Week 5 5w/9r/5w    rest             6r/5w/6r/5w  rest             5w/10r/5w   rest               5w/11r/5w

Week 6 5w/11r/5w  rest             13r/5w           rest            15w/5r         rest                rest

Week 7 15r/5w         rest             8r/5w/8r/5w  rest            16r/5w         rest               17r/5w

Week 8 17r/5w         rest             18r/5w          rest             20r/5w        rest               rest

Week 9 20r               rest             12r/5w/12r   rest              24r              rest               25 r

Hold me to it! I guess I'll update every week about this. Just so I have more of a reason to actually do it.

Til next time!
Alice, like Wonderland

Selfie Saturday!

Yes I know that it's Sunday. But I decided (with the help from my friend Pete) that I am going to post selfies from my week or from anything cool I do every Saturday. Selfies are such a thing so obviously I felt the need to incorporate them into my blog.

Last night my mom was in her show. It's called the inner circle show and she's been doing it for years. Since the 70's. It raises money for different charities and is I believe on the list of top 100 events to attend in New York. So that's a cool thing. Because it's such a "cool thing," some pretty cool people come to it. And also just people that I like. So I decided to be totally shameless about asking people to take pictures with me and the results ended up being pretty freaking cool. Maybe you can also see the progression  of drunkenness happen. Because what is my number one rule? Always take advantage of an open bar.

This is me and my very good and longest friend, Chloe Drew. And Mayor Dinkins is in the back. Lol.

Me with Hazel Sanchez, CBS-TV

Me with Mayor Dinkins. When asked for a selfie, he just wanted to make sure he could remain seated. 

Me with Kirstin Cole, WPIX-TV

Me with my momma, Mary Alice Williams, and my sister, Laura Haefeli. They're cool peeps.

Me and Chloe Drew, children of the inner circle for 24 years!

Me, Sonia Rincon of 1010 Wins, and Andrew Siff of WNBC-TV

Me and Melissa Russo of WNBC-TV

Me and Curtis Silwa. He started the Guardian Angels in New York and kept shit safe. So thats awesome. Thanks, Curtis!

Me and Reverend Al Sharpton. Y'all know who he is.

Me and Juliet Papa, 1010 Wins

Me, waiting backstage with bated breath for the politicians to come through

Selfie #1 with DeBlasio and Chloe. And Mary Murphy of WPIX-TV standing with DeBlasio.

Me with Tony Parise and Edie Cowan. They're the choreographers and they make the show awesome every year. 

Me with Ernie Anastos from Fox

Me with Paul Murnane from WCBS-880. He played DeBlasio and did an awesome job. And even though he is insanely tall, Billy-D is taller. So thats kinda crazy.

Me, my sister Laura Haefeli, and Chloe Drew. Oh, and Bill DeBlasio. There were cameras taking pictures of us taking this picture. If I'm not in the Sunday Times or at the very least The Daily News or AM New York, I'm gonna be pissed.

Me with Eileen Lehpamer of News 12 Long Island TV. I apologize for the position of the drink in my hand. I hate taking pictures when there's a drink in my hand. #yolo

Me with Kathy Beaver, the amazing Inner Circle musical director. I've known her all my life and she's awesome. She took her first ever selfie with me. LOLZ.

Me and my new buddy, Samantha Liebman from FiOS. She's also awesome. 

Me, Laura, and CYNTHIA NIXON! From Sex and the City, Little Manhattan, and so much broadway I can't even handle it. She was super nice. Especially because I probably slurred my words when we spoke. Whoops.

Me, Laura, and Julie Halston. She was Bitsy on Sex and the City. And she's also a big broadway actor. She is hilarious. 

Me, Laura, and Alice Stockton Rosini from 1010Wins. She is pretty rockin'.

Took a serious selfie with Pete. He's the man. And he knows it.

This is me with my girl Molly. She is carrying on the torch of being an Inner Circle child. She's 12 and was at the party so clearly she can hang. Which is a great quality to have.

Me, momma, Laura, and my new friend Kyle Vaughn. He's cool. And an actor. Hire him.

So obviously it was a super-fun night. Made lot's of friends. Saw lots of friends. Wore a nice dress. Took great pictures. Missed my other sister, Sara, but she is a softball player and a responsible human being who needed to get sleep. Clearly I do not need this thing called sleep to stay alive, otherwise I would still be in bed. 

As far as the show goes, the members did a great job in their show. It moved pretty fast, I understood the jokes, and there were no noticeable mistakes. So I would call that a win. DeBlasios show was good. Very shabby production value, but the funny and smart script really made up for it. He wasn't afraid to really make fun of himself, and he was definitely having a good time up there. You could tell he was basking in the glory of being an entertainer for the night, and there's nothing like watching someone just having fun on a stage.

I hope you all enjoyed this politico-media filled edition of selfie Saturday. 

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Grown-Up Time

Greetings Internet! Today I want to talk about growing up. Something that us millennials like to talk about quite often. I'm 24 and in many situations I feel like an adult. A semi-clueless one, but still included and equal with everyone else in the room. But sometimes I'm put in situations where I feel like I will never be seen as a grown up, even thought I basically am one.

So my mom has been involved with this organization in New York since way before I was born. It's called the Inner Circle and it's kind of like NYCs answer to the White House press correspondents dinner. I grew up going to their rehearsals and playing don't touch the floor in city hall and in the ballroom at the Hilton hotel. Then when I got to high school it wasn't cool anymore to go hang with them, plus I had my own friends, so I would only go to the dress rehearsal and then the real show. So from the time I was 15 til probably last year I've been going to this fancy gala on a Saturday night each spring and spent a few hours drinking free booze and being talked down to. Probably not intentionally but that's how it always felt.

Now I live in Brooklyn and have sort of taken advantage of the fact that my mom has been around rehearsing for her show. She sometimes brings things into the city for me and I'll drop some stuff of for her. It's been really nice. I've chatted with some newer members and they've treated me like an adult because they didn't know me when I was a nine year old so that's been pretty cool. But last night something awesome happened. One of the members who used to watch me run around like a nutcase when I was a kid was really nice. I mean everyone is always nice, but it was different this time. I sat down to tell her that her two year old daughter is awesome and we ended up just chatting for awhile. Not just asking me how school is going and how my sisters are. It felt like a real adult conversation. I didn't even realize that everyone else was still treating me like a kid until that conversation happened. So big thanks to her for making me feel included. And also break legs to all the IC members on the show this weekend. I'll be cheering you all on.

Til Next Time
Alice, like Wonderland

Hot Buttered Rum

Have you ever had a hot buttered rum? Ever been tempted to taste it? I think my life can be summed up in the experience of tasting hot buttered rum.
I went to a horrible restaurant on Sunday evening, I can't even remember the name. It's in the village on 7th Ave across from the duplex. Big windows. You would know it if you saw it. I was with three of my friends, and we were looking at the menu. They had $5 hot alcoholic beverages and I saw the words "hot buttered rum." The first thing that came to my mind, like a word association game, was "butter beer" of course followed by "HARRY POTTER!" So I put on my most eager face and ordered a hot buttered rum from the waiter.
I waited with anticipation. Every once in awhile I would remember it was coming and just exclaim to my friends that I just couldn't wait for my hot buttered rum. The service was terrible, so it was about 20 minutes of me getting excited about this drink. It arrived, steaming hot with a sprinkle of nutmeg on the top, and I let it cool off because I didn't want to burn my taste buds whilst consuming this lovely beverage. Finally, it was safe to drink.
I raised the mug to my lips and inhaled the sweet scent…oh wait…actually it wasn't a very sweet scent at all. It kind of smelled like…melted butter. I dismissed my olfactory reaction and sipped on the contents of the mug. Much to my dismay, it did not have the taste that we Harry Potter fans all imagine butter beer to have. It tasted like hot butter. And rum. But mostly hot butter. It was exactly what was advertised, but it really disappointed me.
I feel like sometimes I have too much confidence in people, food, situations, restaurants. You name it. I always expect more than what I ask for. When I get what I ask for, I am always slightly disappointed. This is something I must learn to control.

Til next time!
Alice like Wonderland