Peter Pan Syndrome

All my life I have suffered with an acute case of Peter Pan Syndrome. Normally this condition only applies to men, as it is defined as an adult male who never grew up and still exhibits social habits of a boy. Though I am not a man, I have always considered myself something of an adult-child. I was totally comfortable living at home til I was 23 and probably wouldn't mind it if I was still living there. I enjoy games and working with kids because I have a childlike quality that is prevalent in my personality. I also never realistically thought about or hoped for my future. When I was younger I wanted to be on Broadway and have my name in lights. The biggest issue with making that dream come true were my lack of dance skills. In dance calls, I always showed tons of enthusiasm and hoped that overshadowed the fact that I actually had no idea what I was doing. I think I always knew dancing wasn't going to happen, so I never really thought about my future as a performer in the way that some people think about their futures. Even being in school now to become a teacher, I never really longed for my own classroom or students or adult life. Until now.

This year is going to be a busy one for me. Right now life is highly chaotic in every possible way. School six days a week, homework from all of my classes, steady work 3 days a week, plus almost always weekend jobs. Also, for the next ten days I am taking care of a friends dog so that means walks every morning and every night. After all of my priorities are taken care of, then I get to try to have something of a social life. And maybe get a little sleep. Or eat. Now I know that everyone is busy. I am not special in that I have a busy life. But its still hard. I am, for the first time, trying to live financially independent. So (besides my tuition) I pay for rent, transportation, food, tampons, everything. I also understand that a lot of people my age do that, but throwing school in the mix doesn't give me much time for work. But I do work every chance I get. When people offer me jobs like walking dogs or babysitting kids I say yes 90% of the time. I hustle hard to get the small amount of money that I can live off of. It's very tiring.

Yesterday after waking up at 6:30, walking the dog by 8, having class at 9, having work at 12, and walking the dog again at 7 with little to no breaks I was totally beat. And I was on my way to my own house-warming party so that meant no sleep til late. So I was walking along and a very surprising thought popped into my head. I can't wait to have a regular teaching job, a set schedule, a salary with some nice benefits, and maybe a family. I've never had that thought in my entire life. I've never had that weird yearning to grow up. But now I can't wait til the days of regularity happen. Believe it or not, its not a thrill to work and school 12 hours a day and still sometimes not know where your next meal is coming from or how you're going to pay your rent. It sounds very romantic and exciting in a way. Very New York. But actually it sucks a whole lot. I can't wait for my life to be the life of a fully functioning adult. I just need to stick it out for three and a half semesters and then I get to start. But some tips for how to survive the next year and half of hustling and panicking would be super helpful.

Forever Friends

So this is a widely known fact about me. I love people. I pretend that I hate them but really I love them. Which is probably why I can be so awkward. I'm just really excited to meet everyone and be friends with them. Like a puppy. I'm an extremely open person and I genuinely enjoy spending time with people and forming close bonds with them. I think where I have boundary issues is that I decide that I am going to be friends with them almost immediately after meeting them. And I decide that we are going to be friends forever.

For example, on my first day of staff training at camp this year, I met a bunch of people. Then I proceeded to invite all of them to stay with me in NYC after camp was over. Even though I had met them maybe an hour before that. I had decided that we were going to be forever friends. I'm only writing this example because that mostly came true. I had a ton of people staying with me in the city when camp ended, which was awesome. But sometimes my decision to be forever friends with everyone I meet doesn't end that way.

I first learned this in high school. In the town I grew up in there are three middle schools and they all feed into one high school. The middle school that I went to was really small and by eighth grade we were all pretty good friends. Almost immediately after going to high school, what I had thought was my tightly knit crew of weirdos disintegrated. I don't think I noticed it too much because I was making my own new friends and falling in with my people, which is what we were all doing I guess. But it was definitely weird to see these people whom I had thought I knew so well change so drastically in such a short amount of time.

Fast-forward to college. I think within the first month of college I stopped talking to half of the people I considered to be good friends in high school. And within the first two years of college, I could count the high school people I remained in touch with on one hand. I've now been to three different colleges and made friends at each place but as the years have gone by that multitude of friends has dwindled down to maybe two or three from each chapter of life.

That isn't a bad thing though. I look back on people that I have fallen out with or just lost touch with and sometimes I think about what they are up to right now. But mostly I focus on the people in front of me. The people that I have remained in touch with and kept in my life are in my life for a reason. Theres a mutual sort of caring between us, and its hard in the busy lives that we all live to stay in touch with people that you don't consciously care about. I do get disappointed sometimes because I love forever friends and I try to make everyone I meet fit into that category. But the fact is they don't and that's all right. It's ok to have ten friends. It's ok to have two friends. As long as they are people that want you to be in their lives as much as you want them to be in yours. And as long as they make you happy. Because that's the most important.

Image is Everything

All I've heard for years is that what you look like doesn't matter as long as you are a good person. The older I get, the more I realize that this notion just is not true. In high school its hard to wear something other than sweat pants and your body is still changing and growing, so this adage is perfectly applicable there. But in the real world, appearance matters. And I hate to be putting that out there on the internet because I know I have some young readers out there, but its just the truth.

As I packed up to move to Manhattan, I realized that a large majority of my clothing is fit for a 14 year old. I own as much stuff from Forever 21 as I do from J.Crew. No one can be 21 forever and people will make assumptions about me and my age and maturity based on what I am wearing. So I've decided its time for a change. I was at a bar below my apartment the other day and I realized that my jeans and tank top that I wore to babysit that day was no where near as adult an outfit as the business casual people around me. If I don't start wearing clothing like that, how am I supposed to attract like minded people. I want to look professional. I want to look intelligent and adult. I may project that through my mentality and maturity, but without the clothes, that means nothing.

So here is my pledge. To get rid of all the shirts I've had since eighth grade. To start wearing khakis and tailored black pants. To wear button downs and maybe even some nice day appropriate dresses. Then maybe I'll feel like I fit in. Because New York, despite it's diversity, only works if you try to fit.

Just Go With It

I like to consider myself a go with the flow type of person. I like to have a plan and I enjoy organized fun, but if something throws that plan off kilter, I am pretty good at adjusting and celebrating the alteration. When I was probably 5 or 6, this lesson was taught to me in an extreme way.

My family used to have a house in Yulen, NY which is near Woodstock. It was a decent sized house on top of a hill and on the bottom of that hill was a lake with a big dock. At the house we also had a swing set, a hammock, and a swimming pool. But none of that actually matters to the story. During the spring, my parents had set out to get the house repainted. I think it was red or brown or something when we moved in, I don't really remember. They asked for the house to be painted grey with blue shutters. I will never forget driving up the driveway for our first summer weekend and seeing a big blue house looming above. A big blue house with grey shutters, of course. My 3 year old sisters and I were delighted. How much cooler could a house be? My parents, on the other hand, were not happy at all. But they saw how happy we were and they left it blue. The last time I went up to Yulen was about two years ago, and the house was still blue. That blue house gave my sisters and I a lot of happiness, and in turn gave my parents happiness.

What did I learn from this? What have I taken with me? When life screws with you, just be accommodating because happiness will prevail.

The Lives We Live

There is something special and rare about feeling good enough. I grew up in an area of the country where bringing what you had to offer to the table was never valued unless you were better than every single other person at that table. I grew up in a competitive world where you have to get to the top to even be considered moderately successful. My mind has always worked differently than that. I have always considered happiness to be the most important thing in life. Falling in love with your own life over and over every single day is a goal that I believe we should all strive for. This summer, that goal was achieved.

I've always been good at being a big fish in a small pond. When I went off to college, because I had been a big fish in some aspects of high school everyone assumed that I would totally be able to handle a college with five different campuses that thousands of people attended. I was very quickly lost in the shuffle. So I transferred to a smaller school and into a smaller program and thrived as the big fish. Now I live in New York City, which is a hard place to live. Its not the most friendly city in the world, and everyone is there to climb a ladder of sorts. To be the top person in their career. I mean, to even afford to live in New York City, you have to make a ton of money. The average rent in NYC is doubled the average rent in the United States. Actually I just made that up but go with it. I hate living here. It's dirty and rough and not focused on the things I value.

This summer I found a place that is focused on what I care about. Its a small sleep away camp up on Cape Cod where silliness is applauded, kindness is key, laughter is encouraged, and individuality is celebrated. The values that are taught are the values that I have always had. Be nice to people, don't be afraid to be your best "you," caring is cool except for when it comes to caring about what others think of you, and how to not judge people for being their best "selfie."

I was talking to my dad towards the end of the summer and he said that I've always had a tough time making friends. I'm quick to talk and to let people in but those are not qualities that are normally seen as cool. They can be seen as desperate, which isn't something that I am. But that supposed desperation can drive people away. I just like being friendly. This summer I found people who were willing to accept me for who I am, but not to take advantage of what I have to offer. Just to appreciate it and celebrate it. If camp can make a counselor feel that good about themselves, imagine what it does for the campers! The example shown by each and every one of my co-workers was a positive one, creating an accepting and loving environment for everyone no matter what their ages. No matter what their background. I think this summer was the most important of my life. It taught me that there are places where I am good enough. Where everyone is good enough.

I went away this summer thinking that I would come back with a ton of great stories for this blog. But writing this post was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Camp is a weird and special place that only other people who have been to camps will understand. Its a place where an hour feels like a day, a week feels like a month, and 7 weeks feel like a lifetime, yet the summer feels like it went by in a second. It's a place where relationships are cultivated and special because people don't put on a front at camp. Many of the campers say that they genuinely like themselves best at camp, and I have to agree. Now that I am back I can already feel myself retreating a bit. Hiding my emotions more and trying to gain more control over my personality. But I know that if I figure out a way to bring camp with me, I can be the person I was this summer forever. And I hope that happens.

Clean Eating Challenge Days 11-14!!!

I'M DONE! But I also cheated. And I'll weigh myself in the morning to give the final amount of weight I've lost.

Recount of the cheating: Yesterday (Friday. Day 13.) I ate the breakfast I was supposed to eat. After that, my mom took my sisters and me to get our bridesmaids dresses for her wedding. We went to the jcrew bridal shop it was lovely we all picked great dresses in a nice dusty rose color. Then my mom wanted to take us out to lunch at Eataly which was delicious and full of carbs that I had to seriously avoid. So I got a panini with mushrooms, cheese, and arugula and I only ate the inside. No bread or anything. It was so hard because the bread looked amazing. But I saved it and I will take one bite of it tomorrow and then probably throw it out. Then I had the regular dinner I was supposed to eat and then I had wine. Like a solid 4 glasses of wine. I skipped dessert 3 times this week so I don't feel that bad about it but then I went to see Maleficent with my sister Laura and my friend Anna. I was a little intoxicated and needed to put something in my stomach so I ate popcorn. I'm so ashamed. I know that it's gluten free and a healthy snack to choose and whatever so fine. But I still feel bad about it. And now I've said it and now its done. I cheated. But I don't think it was a terrible cheat.

Now the pictures!

Day 11

Breakfast: Banana and Kale Smoothie

This tasted significantly better this time than it did on the first day. I actually enjoyed it. It was yummy and kind of sweet and still a little grainy but whatever. I still enjoyed it!

Lunch: Tuna Salad with no Mayo on Romaine lettuce

So good. Mayo is an unnecessary condiment. And hard boiled eggs are awesome. Eat this. 

Snap Pea Salad with Radishes and Hard Boiled Eggs

Also really good. Feta makes everything better. And I thoroughly enjoy radishes. And eggs. So thats cool. Good day.

 Day 12!

Breakfast: Yogurt Parfait with Blackberries and Almonds

Really yummy. Had it already. Enjoyed it. Nice and portable. 

Lunch: Leftover blackbean chili with carrot sticks

Had it already. Enjoyed it. Duh. 

Dinner: Cod and Bok Choy

Ok. I've come to terms with the fact that I really don't enjoy seafood. Maybe its the texture. I don't know. But I don't like it. Whatever. If you like seafood you will probably like this. 

Day 13!

Breakfast: Overnight Oats with Strawberries

 Clearly I forgot to take a picture. But I had these already. They were good. Chia seeds still weird me out a little.

 Lunch: The inside of a sandwich

It was delicious. A little too much oil and salt. I didn't eat the bread because duh. I guess this was a fine choice. They didn't have salads to go. 

Dinner: Shrimp Cups

Maybe I do like seafood. But only if its cut up into teeny tiny pieces. With peanuts on top. And tamari sauce. This was super good. The lime added awesome flavor. I would absolutely make this again. 

Day 14! 

 Breakfast: Feta and Scallion Omelet

Really good. Salty because of feta. But really good. Scallions area amazing. 

Lunch: Mushroom Stacks

Maybe it was the slight hangover, but no. I didn't enjoy this at all. I ate one and a half and was done. It was also super filling. 

Dinner: Chicken Stir-Fry

Really good but also too much food. I ate as much as I could stomach. But it was yummy.

And thats it! The whole thing! I am really proud of myself. At my choir concert about a month ago I put on a size ten dress from jcrew and I could barely breath. It was so tight. It was clearly too small for me. Yesterday when we were at jcrew trying on bridesmaids dresses the sample size they had was an 8. I put it on and it fit perfectly. It wasn't even hard to zip up. I almost cried. I was happier about that than I was about picking out a beautiful dress. 

I'll weigh myself in the morning and post about it tomorrow after I do the Montclair YMCA fun run. Its a two mile run in my town. I probably won't run the whole thing. Maybe not even half of it. But It's about trying, right? The effort? Clearly effort was put in for the past two weeks and that effort paid off. So I gotta just keep trying and trucking. 

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Clean Eating Challenge Day 10!

Woohoo! Four days left! And no I will not break this cleanse by chowing down on french fries and ice cream, my two favorite foods. I just won't have such a restricted schedule when it comes to eating. I'm going to cut out sugar and flour as much as I can and I will save my french fries and ice cream consummation for when I will be eating the best fries and the best ice cream. So I don't waste it on a pint of edys. Ya dig?

I think I have sun poisoning on my ankles. They are purple and are starting to blister. It feels awesome. Nice and itchy but also really painful. Its definitely something I would wish on my worst enemy. Not that I have those. But if I did, this would be a great way to piss them off.

Also I don't like shrimp. I don't really dig shellfish in general. The texture bugs me out. So I tried really hard today and next time I have shrimp this week I will try really hard again but I make no guarantees when it comes to eating it. Onto the food!

Breakfast: Cauliflower hash with fried eggs

This diet contains a lot of eggs and I'm starting to worry a little about my cholesterol. I am as healthy as a horse. I have perfect cholesterol and blood sugar and everything else a human could need. But the amount of double servings of eggs I've had this week can't be all that good for you. Needless to say, this tasted great. Who doesn't like eggs, cauliflower, and onion? Its hard to say no!

Lunch: Arugula salad with chickpeas, eggplant, and feta 

Pretty good. Feta makes everything better. The balsamic vinaigrette that this called for was pretty good too. I ate it all so…yep.

Dinner: Shrimp, kale, collard greens, and mushrooms topped with avocado

Ugh shrimp. I don't know why the texture bugs me out so much. I feel like I'm chewing on an ear every time I eat it. Or a finger. Just some piece of human flesh. I don't even know why. But everything else was good. Loaded it up with hot sauce just the way I like it. I did have to eat this meal super late at night though which sucks. I hate when my boss surprises me by coming home an hour and a half late. Thats always super fun. This year needs to end. Countdown to camp: 19 days.

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Clean Eating Challenge: Day 9!

I forgot to take a picture of my lunch but I ate it poolside whilst getting a sunburn obviously. I'm so burnt. I put sunblock on and I reapplied after going in the pool but it didn't even matter. I have weird blotches all over my body. And as the night drags on, it just keeps getting worse and worse. But other than that I had a lovely memorial day weekend with my family watching softball, swimming, and watching all of them eat hamburgers and hotdogs while I ate fried quinoa with eggs, snap peas, and mushrooms. Actually it was super yummy. But anyway…

Breakfast: Apple omelet with apple on the side

This was good! I know it sounds weird. Apples and eggs. But the recipe called for a little vanilla in the eggs and it almost tasted like french toast. The apples were soft like the bread and it was nice and vanilla-y. I enjoyed it. Lovely breakfast.

Lunch: Collard green wraps with turkey meatballs, tomato, avocado, and dijon

Really good. Theres no picture but thats fine. The meatballs are amazing. I will be making them again and again. Raw collard green leaves look like they come from the mesozoic period and they taste kind of bitter. But the tomato almost balanced it out. Solid and filling lunch. 

Dinner: Fried quinoa with snap peas and mushrooms 

Yummy and Asian tasting which is always good. Really healthy but really flavorful. My favorite thing about this eating plan is that each recipe calls for just enough spices and condiments to just bring out the natural flavors of the food. I love food and eating and when it tastes the way it was meant to taste, that to me is perfect. 

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Clean Eating Challenge: Day 8!

Onto week two! Today was yummy. All of the days have been yummy. But this day had eggs, fruit, and no kale. So that was a plus.

Breakfast: Blueberry Smoothie

Super yummy. Whats not to love?

Lunch: Shakshuka 

I still don't really know what shakshuka is, but this was totally delicious. I used the tomato sauce from last nights dinner and the asparagus from yesterdays breakfast and cooked it til it was all hot. Then I cracked two eggs into it and put a lid on the pan and voila! Brunch! It was so good. The tomato sauce recipe is definitely one I am keeping in my book.

Dinner: Roasted Eggplant with cauliflower, chickpeas, and lemon parsley yogurt 

This was good. The texture was a little granular. And chickpeas aren't my favorite. But it was good. 

The best part of today was my snack. I had six strawberries with a tablespoon of almond butter. The strawberries tasted like candy they were so sweet! Fruit really is the best treat ever. I also incorporated exercise today because last week I had finals and was lazy but also stressed so I didn't gym it or anything. This morning I went for a little run and then I did some light strength training. It felt really good to try to get myself back into it. 

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Clean Eating Challenge Day 7!

Successfully made it through a week! So proud of myself. I would like to thank the academy…jk its not that impressive. But its been fun!

Also, I'm gonna tell an embarrassing story that happened to me tonight because I need to put it somewhere and this seemed like the perfect place to put it. So I was babysitting and the little girl likes for me to sing songs from "Frozen" for her bedtime songs. So I sang frozen heart all the way through the ever popular "let it go." When I got to "let it go" I did a super passionate and slightly pitchy rendition of the song. I got so into it and did like Idina Menzel imitations and Demi Lovato with my own special things thrown in. After the song I said goodnight to the kid and walked out and the mom was sitting on the couch outside of the kids room just smiling at me. She says "nice song." It was really embarrassing.

Onto the food!

Breakfast: Poached Eggs and Asparagus

Really yummy. Also I poached the eggs so perfectly that I surprised myself. Restaurant quality poaching right here. Also you usually see this dish served with hollandaise sauce but the egg yolk was a perfectly fine substitute. It was flavorful and healthy and I cooked all of it. So awesome.

 Lunch: Kale salad with scallions, tomato, feta, and black beans

If I've said it once I've said it a million times, people who claim they like kale are lying to themselves. They only want to make themselves believe they like kale so they can stomach it for all of the health benefits. The lime vinaigrette that I made for this helped it be edible though. As well as the 2 whole ounces of feta cheese. Two ounces of cheese can go a long way let me tell you.

Dinner: Collard Greens topped with gluten-free turkey meatballs and tomato sauce 

Um. This came so close to tasting like pasta and meatballs. Instead of breadcrumbs, I used gluten free oats that I pulverized in the food processor as the binder for the meatballs. They were so so delicious. And the sauce was yummy and super easy. And the collard greens were cooked perfectly if I do say so myself. This may have been my favorite meal so far. So delicious. I'm going to make this all the time when I am done with this. And I'll cook it for my family too. 

One more week! Home stretch! But I also might just do it again when I'm done. Because its that easy. And if I have a plan to follow its a lot easier for me to do stuff. 

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Clean Eating Day 6!

I am almost done with week 1! Super proud of myself. I've also noticed a lot of changes not so much in my body but definitely in my energy level and in my palate. For example, tonights dessert was blackberries and pistachios. Both of which tasted like straight up candy. I doubled the recipe for tonights dinner so my sister and my friend could dine with me, and when I got my dessert together they told me "thats not dessert" and they got ice cream. To be honest, mine tasted like real dessert. So that was really cool.
Also I sort of cheated today. I had a glass of red wine. But technically if I cut out a dessert during the time that I'm doing this, its ok. And I already skipped one. So we are all good. But not drinking for a week and not eating any flour has made my body not so tolerant to alcohol. So I'm a little fuzzy. But it happens, right? OK onto the meals!

Breakfast: Mango, almond milk, chia seed, and pistachio pudding

So yummy. Chia seeds have been turning me off a little bit. But this was a delicious meal. Totally wonderful. I really enjoyed it. Make it for yourself. It's a really filling breakfast. I needed energy today because I had to clean my room and get organized and start getting stuff together for camp. This pudding definitely gave me that energy.

Lunch: Arugula and green bean salad with salmon and dijon vinaigrette

Again, really yummy. I used my leftover salmon from last nights dinner and chopped it up til it became the consistency of canned tuna. Except it was fresh. Which was nice. And the vinaigrette complimented the ingredients really well. Side note- my mother has been observing what I've been eating all week and keeps on remarking on how much food I get to eat. The cool thing is, its ok to eat a lot because most of what I am eating is plants. Salads. Whatever. I'm eating a lot of things that are super good for me. So its all ok!

Dinner: Vegetarian black bean chili with greek yogurt dip stuff and zucchini ribbons

pretty good. The chili was less chili and more chunky tomatoes. And I used a little too much oil when cooking the zucchini so it was greasier than I would have wanted it to be. But everything still tasted good and healthy. And it was filling. Even my bread-eating sister and friend were full after eating this meal. So thats a good thing!

Tomorrow is going to be complicated. I'm babysitting in the city tomorrow night which means I need to pre make dinner and bring it with me. But I feel slightly awkward doing that because these specific people always feed me. So do I warn them in advance? Do I just let it go? I get weird about this stuff. Whatever.

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Clean Eating Days 4 and 5

So I forgot to take pictures of my breakfast on day 4 and my lunch on day 5. But I'll describe them using my best adjectives.

Breakfast: Omelet with feta cheese and scallions

Totally delicious. Feta is perfectly salty and cheesy and when it melts it's the best. I'm becoming a huge fan of feta.

Lunch: Greek Salad with Feta, spinach, cucumber, red pepper, and lime vinaigrette

Also super yummy. I've been eating everything on my plate since I started this but almost everything on my plate is a green vegetable so theres no guilt. Its awesome.

Dinner: Spinach, roasted fennel, and chicken.  

Not gonna lie, this one was a little boring. Plus I think roasted fennel is wonderful but also a little too sweet for me. 

Breakfast: Omelet with cauliflower and basil 

I don't know if you can tell but I'm not very good at omelets. So I really just make scrambles. Its the same concept. This one was really good. The basil added an awesome element of yum.

Lunch: Fennel, chickpea, blueberry, mint salad with lime

Pretty good. Again, the fennel. It's just really sweet so its tough to eat. But blueberries are awesome. 

Dinner: Salmon on top of haricot vert and lentils 

The recipe said to put lemon on this. So I did. It was really lemony. Like exceptionally lemony. I won't make that mistake again. 

OK thats the past two days. End of week one is fast approaching! I'm big on cheating on food things and I still haven't cheated. Crossing my fingers.

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Clean Eating Challenge Day 3

This is getting fun and easy. Super easy. Yeah I spend a lot of time cooking but I enjoy it. I've always loved food, but not just eating it. The entire process of it. I think it's beautiful. And taking part in that process is fun for me.

Breakfast: parfait with greek yogurt, blackberries, almonds, and flax seed

Not bad. I chopped/mushed the blackberries first so that flavor really spread out in the yogurt making it taste less like sour cream. And the almonds added a nice texture. And the flax seed looks like saw dust but you can't taste it so its fine. 

 Lunch: Asian chicken salad with napa cabbage, almonds, carrots, chicken, and lime vinaigrette

Super yummy and also really refreshing. Everything about this salad was juicy. Which sounds gross but it worked.

 Dinner: Cauliflower steaks with lentils and parsley

Cauliflower might be one of my new favorite things. It's super yummy and the lentils on top were super yummy. Everything about this dinner was awesome. And I'm going to bed pretty full so thats nice. 

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Clean Eating Day 2

Clean eating challenge plus 3 finals equals kind of a tough day. But the food was good. Filling. Fueling. I had energy all day long and no headaches which is great because I get headaches a lot. Probably from lack of protein. 

Also, before I go into the meals, just thought I would say something. My mom was telling me about a woman who said that she realized she had an eating disorder (or at least issue. I feel like if I say disorder people will yell at me…) when she realized that food was controlling her life. It made me think a little bit. I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion, and my apologies to anyone who gets offended, but if I don't have complete control over my diet and food intake, then I lose control over a lot of things. I've never had a healthy relationship with food and doing stuff like this sort of allows me to develop one. If I'm not on a strict regime, I eat everything. Literally everything in my path. It's awful. So yeah. Thats a big reason why I am doing this.

Annnnyway onto the food!

Breakfast: Overnight Oats!

Gluten-free oats, almond milk, plain greek yogurt, blueberries, honey, and chia seeds. First of all, plain greek yogurt tastes like sour cream. Not exactly the most appetizing thing in the morning. But I guess its something that takes getting used to. Also chia seeds…I hope I grow a pet in my belly. 

 Lunch: Kale, fennel, quinoa, and chickpea salad with orange vinaigrette

Yummy. I'm getting used to kale. So thats a great thing. And I may or may not end up in a relationship with quinoa by the end of these two weeks. Its just so yummy. 

Dinner: Cabbage wraps with chicken, mango, avocado, basil, and lime vinaigrette. And a side salad with arugula and tomato.  

So so so yummy. The wraps are my new favorite thing. Super filling and delicious. 

Also snacks for today were tomato with basil, feta, and balsamic. And two clementines except I couldn't find two solitary clementines so I just bought an orange. Same diff. Easy and yummy day! 

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Buzzfeed Clean Eating Challenge: Day One

I'm doing it. The clean eating challenge that buzzfeed posted a could weeks ago. So I figured I would track my progress on here because where else is a better place to track your personal life and eating habits and weight issues than the internet? Am I right?

So here are my current standings:
Weight: 179
Thats it. Also this is less about losing weight than it is about getting myself onto a healthier way of eating. So yeah. Lets see how this goes.

Here is the Clean Eating Challenge in case you want to try it out. It'll be fun! Thats what I'm saying now at least.

Breakfast: Kale and Banana Smoothie

So no one gets cravings for kale and banana smoothies. And if you do, you are lying to yourself. It was a little chunky. But not so bad. The almond milk and almond butter made it tolerable. I couldn't really get over how granular it was though...

Lunch: Shaved Asparagus Salad with fried eggs

Delicious. No complaints. Like…this was so good. So so yummy. I want to eat this always. 

Dinner: Quinoa with orange vinaigrette, roasted chicken, and a shit-ton of kale

I can't believe I ate this much kale in one day. Like…it was a lot. A whole lot. But when I wasn't thinking about it, it went down easy. Maybe I'll eventually grow to enjoy the bitter and earthy taste! The quinoa with the orange dressing was amazing. Best quinoa I have ever had. And the chicken was good too. 

So far its been easy. On to the next day. 

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland

Selfie Saturday

Selfie Saturday! Mothers day, me crying in public on the subway, moving out of my apartment with no help (I am woman), last SNL party, and last hawkappella event! Good week, team. One more week of school. Lets do this.

Happy mothers day, MA!

The ladies. Looking our best obviously. 

Looking dandy at the choir concert. Also worst day ever. So theres that.

Just finished reading The Fault in Our Stars. Sitting in public on the subway sobbing. So embarrassing.

Last Hawkappella selfie!

My phone was about to die. I had no books. So I watched Frozen on the train ride home to Montclair.

Drinks with two of my faves!

A jeep liberty packed to the brim with stuff. And that wasn't even all of it.

After moving everything from Brooklyn to Montclair. I carried everything. I'm a little proud. I don't know if you could tell.

I can't WAIT to get a new phone with a better camera. 

Saras first SNL party. And probably last.

Seesters going home after a night out! PS it was like 6:45 in the morning. Kewl.

Good week. 5 more finals and I'm done. Lets do this. 

Til next time!

Alice, like Wonderland